Heart-Shaped

Complete Review Of Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill PDF “Heart-Shaped Box” is a thought-provoking, terrifying, and classic horror story which deeply influences the reader. It is an expressive novel that influences the psyche of those who read it from the first page to the last page. Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill ePub Download - ebooksheep.

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Heart-Shaped Box

  • Author : Joe Hill
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2007-02-13
  • Total pages :376
  • ISBN : UCSC:32106019100947
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Summary : A collector of obscure and macabre artifacts, unscrupulous metal band musician Judas Coyne is unable to resist purchasing a ghost over the Internet, which turns out to be the vengeful spirit of his late girlfriend's stepfather.

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Heart-Shaped Box

  • Author : Joe Hill
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2000-10-13
  • Total pages :400
  • ISBN : 9780061798306
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Summary : Judas Coyne is a collector of the macabre: a cookbook for cannibals . . . a used hangman's noose . . . a snuff film. An aging death-metal rock god, his taste for the unnatural is as widely known to his legions of fans as the notorious excesses of his youth. But nothing he possesses is as unlikely or as dreadful as his latest discovery, an item for sale on the Internet, a thing so terribly strange, Jude can't help but reach for his wallet. I will 'sell' my stepfather's ghost to the highest bidder. . . . For a thousand dollars, Jude will become the proud owner of a dead man's suit, said to be haunted by a restless spirit. He isn't afraid. He has spent a lifetime coping with ghosts—of an abusive father, of the lovers he callously abandoned, of the bandmates he betrayed. What's one more? But what UPS delivers to his door in a black heart-shaped box is no imaginary or metaphorical ghost, no benign conversation piece. It's the real thing. And suddenly the suit's previous owner is everywhere: behind the bedroom door . . . seated in Jude's restored vintage Mustang . . . standing outside his window . . . staring out from his widescreen TV. Waiting—with a gleaming razor blade on a chain dangling from one bony hand. . . . A multiple-award winner for his short fiction, author Joe Hill immediately vaults into the top echelon of dark fantasists with a blood-chilling roller-coaster ride of a novel, a masterwork brimming with relentless thrills and acid terror.

Heart-Shaped Box

  • Author : Joe Hill
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2010-06-10
  • Total pages :416
  • ISBN : 9780575086876
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Summary : 'Buy my stepfather's ghost' read the e-mail. So Jude did. He bought it, in the shape of the dead man's suit, delivered in a heart-shaped box, because he wanted it: because his fans ate up that kind of story. It was perfect for his collection: the genuine skulls and the bones, the real honest-to-God snuff movie, the occult books and all the rest of the paraphanalia that goes along with his kind of hard/goth rock. But the rest of his collection doesn't make the house feel cold. The bones don't make the dogs bark; the movie doesn't make Jude feel as if he's being watched. And none of the artefacts bring a vengeful old ghost with black scribbles over his eyes out of the shadows to chase Jude out of his home, and make him run for his life ...

Heart-Shaped Box LP

  • Author : Joe Hill
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2007-05-01
  • Total pages :528
  • ISBN : 9780061233241
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Summary : Judas Coyne is a collector of the macabre: a cookbook for cannibals . . . a used hangman's noose . . . a snuff film. An aging death-metal rock god, his taste for the unnatural is as widely known to his legions of fans as the notorious excesses of his youth. But nothing he possesses is as unlikely or as dreadful as his latest purchase, an item he discovered on the Internet: I will sell my stepfather's ghost to the highest bidder . . . For a thousand dollars, Jude has become the owner of a dead man's suit, said to be haunted by a restless spirit. But what UPS delivers to his door in a black heart-shaped box is no metaphorical ghost, no benign conversation piece. Suddenly the suit's previous owner is everywhere: behind the bedroom door . . . seated in Jude's restored Mustang . . . staring out from his widescreen TV. Waiting—with a gleaming razor blade on a chain dangling from one hand . . .

Heart-shaped Box

  • Author : Joe Hill
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2007
  • Total pages :229
  • ISBN : 0005807352
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Heart-shaped Box

  • Author : April Henry
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2002
  • Total pages :291
  • ISBN : OCLC:1035592660
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Ms Barbie Heart Shaped Box

  • Author : Heinemann
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2001-09
  • Total pages :229
  • ISBN : 0434807982
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Summary :

My Box-Shaped Heart

  • Author : Rachael Lucas
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2019-08-20
  • Total pages :256
  • ISBN : 9781250130013
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Summary : Rachel Lucas's My Box-Shaped Heart is a powerful YA novel about an unlikely friendship between two struggling teens—and how they come together to help one another. Holly's mom is a hoarder, and Holly is fed up with being picked on at school for being weird . . . and having the wrong clothes . . . and sticking out. All she wants is to fit in. She loves swimming, because in the water everyone is the same. Ed goes to the swimming pool because everything else in his life has changed. In his old life, he had money, was on the swim team, knew who he was and what he wanted. In his old life, his dad hit his mom. Holly is swimming in one direction and Ed's swimming in the other. As their worlds collide they find a window into each other's lives—and learn how to meet in the middle.

Heart Shaped Box

  • Author : Anand Bhatt
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2011
  • Total pages :229
  • ISBN : OCLC:1257161274
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The Joe Hill

  • Author : Joe Hill
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2014-08-12
  • Total pages :229
  • ISBN : 9780062378637
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Summary : Get four bone-chilling novels of psychological and supernatural suspense from New York Times bestselling author Joe Hill in one e-book, including: Heart-Shaped Box, 20th Century Ghosts, Horns, and NOS4A2. Each publication of Hill is beautiful textured, deliciously scary, and greeted with the sort of overwhelming critical acclaim that is rare for works of skin-crawling supernatural terror. Read on if you dare to see what all the well-deserved hoopla is about.

Adelaide Bach Society

  • Author : Anonim
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :19??
  • Total pages :229
  • ISBN : OCLC:224672854

Heart-shaped Box Pdf Free Download 64 Bit

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Summary : Material in the Australian performing arts programs and ephemera (PROMPT) collection consists of programs and related items for Australian performing arts organisations, Australian artists performing overseas, professional productions performed in Australia (including those featuring overseas performers) and overseas performances of Australian plays, music, etc.

The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake

  • Author : Aimee Bender
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2010-06-01
  • Total pages :288
  • ISBN : 9780385533225
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Summary : The wondrous Aimee Bender conjures the lush and moving story of a girl whose magical gift is really a devastating curse. On the eve of her ninth birthday, unassuming Rose Edelstein, a girl at the periphery of schoolyard games and her distracted parents’ attention, bites into her mother’s homemade lemon-chocolate cake and discovers she has a magical gift: she can taste her mother’s emotions in the cake. She discovers this gift to her horror, for her mother—her cheerful, good-with-crafts, can-do mother—tastes of despair and desperation. Suddenly, and for the rest of her life, food becomes a peril and a threat to Rose. The curse her gift has bestowed is the secret knowledge all families keep hidden—her mother’s life outside the home, her father’s detachment, her brother’s clash with the world. Yet as Rose grows up she learns to harness her gift and becomes aware that there are secrets even her taste buds cannot discern. The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake is a luminous tale about the enormous difficulty of loving someone fully when you know too much about them. It is heartbreaking and funny, wise and sad, and confirms Aimee Bender’s place as “a writer who makes you grateful for the very existence of language” (San Francisco Chronicle). BONUS: This edition includes an excerpt from Aimee Bender's The Color Master.

Tidal Rip

  • Author : Joe Buff
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2009-10-13
  • Total pages :560
  • ISBN : 0061754110
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Summary : An electrifying new voice in military fiction, Joe Buff has written a riveting and utterly realistic submarine adventure. Jeffrey Fuller is going back to war. Commander Fuller has distinguished himself in battle, becoming one of America's most inspirational heroes in its war with the Berlin-Boer Axis. Time and time again, Fuller has taken his crew of elite submariners into the most dangerous waters in the world, matching wits and weapons with the best of Germany's and South Africa's fighting force, and every time he has emerged the victor. But this time, Fuller is given an impossible mission. As the captain of America's most technologically advanced tactical nuclear submarine, Fuller is told that the Allies will lose the war unless two conditions are met. The only problem: if Fuller devotes his time to achieving one of his goals, he will sacrifice the other. With the war hanging in the balance, Fuller must accomplish the impossible, or he will lose not only his life, but the war itself.

Heart-shaped Box, Or

  • Author : Andrew Hunter,William J. Hunter,Toronto (Ont.). Market Gallery
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2005
  • Total pages :22
  • ISBN : OCLC:460196108
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Heart-Shaped Box PDF Free Download

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Shakespeare Would Cry

  • Author : Joseph Ading
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2013-01
  • Total pages :44
  • ISBN : 5458862570
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Summary : In this book, we have hand-picked the most sophisticated, unanticipated, absorbing (if not at times crackpot!), original and musing book reviews of 'Heart-Shaped Box CD.' Don't say we didn't warn you: these reviews are known to shock with their unconventionality or intimacy. Some may be startled by their biting sincerity; others may be spellbound by their unbridled flights of fantasy. Don't buy this book if: 1. You don't have nerves of steel. 2. You expect to get pregnant in the next five minutes. 3. You've heard it all.

Poems from a Heart Shaped Box

  • Author : Clarence Plank
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2020-01-12
  • Total pages :122
  • ISBN : 1659632765
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Summary : A collection of new poems I wrote from October until January of 2020 about the different things I've been through over a four month span. I hope these poems inspire you and encourage you to become the person you want to be in life.

The Somnambulist

  • Author : Jonathan Barnes
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2008-09-18
  • Total pages :288
  • ISBN : 9780575086067
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Summary : 'Be warned. This book has no literary merit whatsoever. It is a lurid piece of nonsense, convoluted, implausible, peopled by unconvincing characters, written in drearily pedestrian prose, frequently ridiculous and wilfully bizarre. Needless to say, I doubt you'll believe a word of it.' So starts the extraordinary tale of Edward Moon, detective, his silent sidekick the Somnambulist and a devilish plot to recreate the apocalyptic prophecies of William Blake and bring the British Empire crashing down. With a gallery of vividly grotesque characters, a richly evoked setting and a playful highly literate style this is an amazingly readable literary fantasy and a brilliant debut.

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Come As You Are

  • Author : Michael Azerrad
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2013-01-23
  • Total pages :336
  • ISBN : 9780307833730
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Summary : Nirvana came out of nowhere in 1991 to sell nearly five million copies of their landmark album Nevermind, whose thunderous sound and indelible melodies embodied all the confusion, frustration, and passion of the emerging Generation X. Come As You Are is the close-up, intimate story of Nirvana -- the only book with exclusive in-depth interviews with bandmembers Kurt Cobain, Krist Noveselic, and Dave Grohl, as well as friends, relatives, former bandmembers, and associates -- now updated to include a new final chapter detailing the last year of Kurt Cobain's life, before his tragic suicide in April 1994.

The Thicket

  • Author : Joe R. Lansdale
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2013-09-10
  • Total pages :352
  • ISBN : 9780316248754
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Summary : ALA Reading List Award for History, Short List Love and vengeance at the dark dawn of the East Texas oil boom from Joe Lansdale, 'a true American original' (Joe Hill, author of Heart-Shaped Box). Jack Parker thought he'd already seen his fair share of tragedy. His grandmother was killed in a farm accident when he was barely five years old. His parents have just succumbed to the smallpox epidemic sweeping turn-of-the-century East Texas--orphaning him and his younger sister, Lula. Then catastrophe strikes on the way to their uncle's farm, when a traveling group of bank-robbing bandits murder Jack's grandfather and kidnap his sister. With no elders left for miles, Jack must grow up fast and enlist a band of heroes the likes of which has never been seen if his sister stands any chance at survival. But the best he can come up with is a charismatic, bounty-hunting dwarf named Shorty, a grave-digging son of an ex-slave named Eustace, and a street-smart woman-for-hire named Jimmie Sue who's come into some very intimate knowledge about the bandits (and a few members of Jack's extended family to boot). In the throes of being civilized, East Texas is still a wild, feral place. Oil wells spurt liquid money from the ground. But as Jack's about to find out, blood and redemption rule supreme. In The Thicket, award-winning novelist Joe R. Lansdale lets loose like never before, in a rip-roaring adventure equal parts True Gritand Stand by Me--the perfect introduction to an acclaimed writer whose work has been called 'as funny and frightening as anything that could have been dreamed up by the Brothers Grimm--or Mark Twain' (New York Times Book Review).

The Fireman

  • Author : Joe Hill
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2016-05-17
  • Total pages :768
  • ISBN : 9780062200655
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Summary : From the award-winning, New York Times bestselling author of NOS4A2 and Heart-Shaped Box comes a chilling novel about a worldwide pandemic of spontaneous combustion that threatens to reduce civilization to ashes and a band of improbable heroes who battle to save it, led by one powerful and enigmatic man known as the Fireman. The fireman is coming. Stay cool. No one knows exactly when it began or where it originated. A terrifying new plague is spreading like wildfire across the country, striking cities one by one: Boston, Detroit, Seattle. The doctors call it Draco Incendia Trychophyton. To everyone else it’s Dragonscale, a highly contagious, deadly spore that marks its hosts with beautiful black and gold marks across their bodies—before causing them to burst into flames. Millions are infected; blazes erupt everywhere. There is no antidote. No one is safe. Harper Grayson, a compassionate, dedicated nurse as pragmatic as Mary Poppins, treated hundreds of infected patients before her hospital burned to the ground. Now she’s discovered the telltale gold-flecked marks on her skin. When the outbreak first began, she and her husband, Jakob, had made a pact: they would take matters into their own hands if they became infected. To Jakob’s dismay, Harper wants to live—at least until the fetus she is carrying comes to term. At the hospital, she witnessed infected mothers give birth to healthy babies and believes hers will be fine too. . . if she can live long enough to deliver the child. Convinced that his do-gooding wife has made him sick, Jakob becomes unhinged, and eventually abandons her as their placid New England community collapses in terror. The chaos gives rise to ruthless Cremation Squads—armed, self-appointed posses roaming the streets and woods to exterminate those who they believe carry the spore. But Harper isn’t as alone as she fears: a mysterious and compelling stranger she briefly met at the hospital, a man in a dirty yellow fire fighter’s jacket, carrying a hooked iron bar, straddles the abyss between insanity and death. Known as The Fireman, he strolls the ruins of New Hampshire, a madman afflicted with Dragonscale who has learned to control the fire within himself, using it as a shield to protect the hunted . . . and as a weapon to avenge the wronged. In the desperate season to come, as the world burns out of control, Harper must learn the Fireman’s secrets before her life—and that of her unborn child—goes up in smoke.

Strange Weather

  • Author : Joe Hill
  • Publisher :Unknown
  • Release Date :2017-10-24
  • Total pages :448
  • ISBN : 9780062663139
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Heart-shaped Box Pdf Free Download Adobe Reader

Summary : A collection of four chilling novels, ingeniously wrought gems of terror from the brilliantly imaginative, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Fireman, Joe Hill. 'One of America’s finest horror writers' (Time magazine), Joe Hill has been hailed among legendary talents such as Peter Straub, Neil Gaiman, and Jonathan Lethem. In Strange Weather, this 'compelling chronicler of human nature’s continual war between good and evil,' (Providence Journal-Bulletin) who 'pushes genre conventions to new extremes' (New York Times Book Review) deftly expose the darkness that lies just beneath the surface of everyday life. 'Snapshot' is the disturbing story of a Silicon Valley adolescent who finds himself threatened by 'The Phoenician,' a tattooed thug who possesses a Polaroid Instant Camera that erases memories, snap by snap. A young man takes to the skies to experience his first parachute jump. . . and winds up a castaway on an impossibly solid cloud, a Prospero’s island of roiling vapor that seems animated by a mind of its own in 'Aloft.' On a seemingly ordinary day in Boulder, Colorado, the clouds open up in a downpour of nails—splinters of bright crystal that shred the skin of anyone not safely under cover. 'Rain' explores this escalating apocalyptic event, as the deluge of nails spreads out across the country and around the world. In 'Loaded,' a mall security guard in a coastal Florida town courageously stops a mass shooting and becomes a hero to the modern gun rights movement. But under the glare of the spotlights, his story begins to unravel, taking his sanity with it. When an out-of-control summer blaze approaches the town, he will reach for the gun again and embark on one last day of reckoning. Masterfully exploring classic literary themes through the prism of the supernatural, Strange Weather is a stellar collection from an artist who is 'quite simply the best horror writer of our generation' (Michael Kortya).

Heart-Shaped Box, p.1

Joe Hill

HEART-SHAPED BOX
JOE HILL
Dedication
For my dad, one of the good ones
CONTENTS
Dedication
Epigraph
BLACK DOG
1
Jude had a private collection.
2
The suit came early Saturday morning. Jude was up and…
3
He put the box on the shelf in the back…
4
He was passing back through the kitchen, a little before…
5
Forty minutes later Jude drifted into the bathroom to soak…
6
One of the dogs was in the house.
7
He didn’t expect to sleep but dozed off at first…
8
Jude glared at the black phone, still gripped in his…
9
His mind leaped from one bad thing to another, Anna…
10
His shoulders twitched in reflexive surprise. He turned and looked.…
11
He backed away from the door. The room was filled…
12
Jude wasn’t sure what to do next, so he made…
13
The air was a cold shock that made his eyes…
14
He set out for the barn and the dogs.
15
Georgia led him into the music library on the first…
16
An hour later it was dusk. Jude sat in the…
17
Georgia was gone. That was the first thing he knew.…
18
It was the evening news. Bill Beutel, who had started…
19
Three steps through the door, he pulled up, hesitated for…
20
Jude wasn’t ready until the sky in the east was…
RIDE ON
21
The daylight began to fail when they were just north…
22
Lake Pontchartrain, huh? I didn’t grow up too far from…
23
He woke a little after nine with a melody in…
24
Jude took Bon for her overdue walk while Georgia busied…
25
The Denny’s was loud and overcrowded, thick with the smell…
26
Heaping their bags into the back of the Mustang, Jude…
27
Jude took the wheel just before they crossed into Georgia.…
28
When they had been introduced, formally, Jude found out her…
29
She led him into her bedroom, where she removed the…
30
Georgia said she would do the talking, and she put…
31
In the late-afternoon cool of the room, Jude and Georgia…
32
After dinner Jude said he had some phone calls to…
33
Jude pivoted toward Georgia and Bammy. Georgia stood across the…
34
He drove. His palms were hot and slick on the…
HURT
35
Jessica McDermott Price’s house was in a new development, an…
36
He started awake, heart beating too fast, to the sound…
37
One of Jessica McDermott Price’s eyelids twitched irregularly, a drop…
38
The man on the radio said, “What’s Florida’s number one…
39
The first-aid kit that had accompanied them from New York…
40
He tried to keep an eye on the road behind…
41
What are you doin’?” His voice an unfamiliar croak. Marybeth…
42
When Jude stepped away from Marybeth, Arlene turned him around…
43
He wasn’t sure what woke him, but later on Jude…
44
Here we are, you and me. All out of road,…
45
The papers that had been swirling above the kitchen table…
46
The sensation of falling—a weightless-sick feeling in the pit of…
47
Jude blinked into the clear, painful white light of an…
ALIVE
48
Jude was in and out for twenty-four hours.
49
Then he was in the halls, a six-foot-tall, 240-pound man,…
50
He wasn’t asleep, but thinking he ought to be, when…
51
Before Nan left his room, she hesitated in the doorway…
52
They were back in New York two weeks later for…
53
In the spring Jude recorded an album, stripped down, mostly…
54
Marybeth found a derelict Dodge Charger in a local auto…
55
One afternoon, close to the end of August, Jude wandered…
56
On the second weekend of November, the Dodge Charger pulled…
57
One fall they went to Fiji. The fall after, they…
Heart-Shaped Acknowledgments
Throw Up Your Horns: Thoughts on the Second Novel
Excerpt from Horns
About the Author
Other Books by Joe Hill
Credits
Copyright
About the Publisher
Epigraph
HOW MAY THE DEAD HAVE DESTINATIONS?
—Alan Moore, Voice of the Fire
BLACK DOG
1
Jude had a private collection.
He had framed sketches of the Seven Dwarfs on the wall of his studio, in between his platinum records. John Wayne Gacy had drawn them while he was in jail and sent them to him. Gacy liked golden-age Disney almost as much as he liked molesting little kids; almost as much as he liked Jude’s albums.
Jude had the skull of a peasant who had been trepanned in the sixteenth century, to let the demons out. He kept a collection of pens jammed into the hole in the center of the cranium.
He had a three-hundred-year-old confession, signed by a witch. “I did spake with a black dogge who sayd hee wouldst poison cows, drive horses mad and sicken children for me if I wouldst let him have my soule, and I sayd aye, and after did give him sucke at my breast.” She was burned to death.
He had a stiff and worn noose that had been used to hang a man in England at the turn of the nineteenth century, Aleister Crowley’s childhood chessboard, and a snuff film. Of all the items in Jude’s collection, this last was the thing he felt most uncomfortable about possessing. It had come to him by way of a police officer, a man who had worked security at some shows in L.A. The cop had said the video was diseased. He said it with some enthusiasm. Jude had watched it and felt that he was right. It was diseased. It had also, in an indirect way, helped hasten the end of Jude’s marriage. Still he held on to it.
Many of the objects in his private collection of the grotesque and the bizarre were gifts sent to him by his fans. It was rare for him to actually buy something for the collection himself. But when Danny Wooten, his personal assistant, told him there was a ghost for sale on the Internet and asked did he want to buy it, Jude didn’t even need to think. It was like going out to eat, hearing the special, and deciding you wanted it without even looking at the menu. Some impulses required no consideration.
Danny’s office occupied a relatively new addition, extending from the northeastern end of Jude’s rambling, 110-year-old farmhouse. With its climate control, OfficeMax furniture, and coffee-and-cream industrial carpet, the office was coolly impersonal, nothing at all like the rest of th
e house. It might have been a dentist’s waiting room, if not for the concert posters in stainless-steel frames. One of them showed a jar crammed with staring eyeballs, bloody knots of nerves dangling from the backs of them. That was for the All Eyes On You tour.
No sooner had the addition been built than Jude had come to regret it. He had not wanted to drive forty minutes from Piecliff to a rented office in Poughkeepsie to see to his business, but that would’ve probably been preferable to having Danny Wooten right here at the house. Here Danny and Danny’s work were too close. When Jude was in the kitchen, he could hear the phones ringing in there, both of the office lines going off at once sometimes, and the sound was maddening to him. He had not recorded an album in years, had hardly worked since Jerome and Dizzy had died (and the band with them), but still the phones rang and rang. He felt crowded by the steady parade of petitioners for his time, and by the never-ending accumulation of legal and professional demands, agreements and contracts, promotions and appearances, the work of Judas Coyne Incorporated, which was never done, always ongoing. When he was home, he wanted to be himself, not a trademark.
For the most part, Danny stayed out of the rest of the house. Whatever his flaws, he was protective of Jude’s private space. But Danny considered him fair game if Jude strayed into the office—something Jude did, without much pleasure, four or five times a day. Passing through the office was the fastest way to the barn and the dogs. He could’ve avoided Danny by going out through the front door and walking all the way around the house, but he refused to sneak around his own home just to avoid Danny Wooten.
Besides, it didn’t seem possible Danny could always have something to bother him with. But he always did. And if he didn’t have anything that demanded immediate attention, he wanted to talk. Danny was from Southern California originally, and there was no end to his talk. He would boast to total strangers about the benefits of wheatgrass, which included making your bowel movements as fragrant as a freshly mowed lawn. He was thirty years old but could talk skateboarding and PlayStation with the pizza-delivery kid like he was fourteen. Danny would get confessional with air-conditioner repairmen, tell them how his sister had OD’d on heroin in her teens and how as a young man he had been the one to find his mother’s body after she killed herself. He was impossible to embarrass. He didn’t know the meaning of shy.
Jude was coming back inside from feeding Angus and Bon and was halfway across Danny’s field of fire—just beginning to think he might make it through the office unscathed—when Danny said, “Hey, Chief, check this out.” Danny opened almost every demand for attention with just this line, a statement Jude had learned to dread and resent, a prelude to half an hour of wasted time, forms to fill out, faxes to look at. Then Danny told him someone was selling a ghost, and Jude forgot all about begrudging him. He walked around the desk so he could look over Danny’s shoulder at his computer screen.
Danny had discovered the ghost at an online auction site, not eBay but one of the wannabes. Jude moved his gaze over the item description while Danny read aloud. Danny would’ve cut his food for him if Jude gave him the chance. He had a streak of subservience that Jude found, frankly, revolting in a man.
“ ‘Buy my stepfather’s ghost,’” Danny read. “ ‘Six weeks ago my elderly stepfather died, very suddenly. He was staying with us at the time. He had no home of his own and traveled from relative to relative, visiting for a month or two before moving on. Everyone was shocked by his passing, especially my daughter, who was very close to him. No one would’ve thought. He was active to the end of his life. Never sat in front of the TV. Drank a glass of orange juice every day. Had all his own teeth.’”
“This is a fuckin’ joke,” Jude said.
“I don’t think so,” Danny said. He went on, “ ‘Two days after his funeral, my little girl saw him sitting in the guest room, which is directly across from her own bedroom. After she saw him, my girl didn’t like to be alone in her room anymore, or even to go upstairs. I told her that her grandfather wouldn’t ever hurt her, but she said she was scared of his eyes. She said they were all black scribbles and they weren’t for seeing anymore. So she has been sleeping with me ever since.
“ ‘At first I thought it was just a scary story she was telling herself, but there is more to it than that. The guest room is cold all the time. I poked around in there and noticed it was worst in the closet, where his Sunday suit was hung up. He wanted to be buried in that suit, but when we tried it on him at the funeral home, it didn’t look right. People shrink up a little after they die. The water in them dries up. His best suit was too big for him, so we let the funeral home talk us into buying one of theirs. I don’t know why I listened.
“ ‘The other night I woke up and heard my stepfather walking around overhead. The bed in his room won’t stay made, and the door opens and slams shut at all hours. The cat won’t go upstairs either, and sometimes she sits at the bottom of the steps looking at things I can’t see. She stares awhile, then gives a yowl like her tail got stepped on and runs away.
“ ‘My stepfather was a lifelong spiritualist, and I believe he is only here to teach my daughter that death is not the end. But she is eleven and needs a normal life and to sleep in her own room, not in mine. The only thing I can think is to try and find Pop another home, and the world is full of people who want to believe in the afterlife. Well, I have your proof right here.
“ ‘I will “sell” my stepfather’s ghost to the highest bidder. Of course a soul cannot really be sold, but I believe he will come to your home and abide with you if you put out the welcome mat. As I said, when he died, he was with us temporarily and had no place to call his own, so I am sure he would go to where he was wanted. Do not think this is a stunt or a practical joke and that I will take your money and send you nothing. The winning bidder will have something solid to show for their investment. I will send you his Sunday suit. I believe if his spirit is attached to anything, it has to be that.
“ ‘It is a very nice old-fashioned suit made by Great Western Tailoring. It has a fine silver pinstripe,’ blah-blah, ‘satin lining,’ blah-blah….” Danny stopped reading and pointed at the screen. “Check out the measurements, Chief. It’s just your size. High bid is eighty bucks. If you want to own a ghost, looks like he could be yours for a hundred.”
“Let’s buy it,” Jude said.
“Seriously? Put in a bid for a hundred dollars?”
Jude narrowed his eyes, peering at something on the screen, just below the item description, a button that said YOURS NOW: $1,000. And beneath that: Click to Buy and End Auction Immediately! He put his finger on it, tapping the glass.
“Let’s just make it a grand and seal the deal,” he said.
Danny rotated in his chair. He grinned and raised his eyebrows. Danny had high, arched, Jack Nicholson eyebrows, which he used to great effect. Maybe he expected an explanation, but Jude wasn’t sure he could’ve explained, even to himself, why it seemed reasonable to pay a thousand dollars for an old suit that probably wasn’t worth a fifth of that. Later he thought it might be good publicity: Judas Coyne buys a poltergeist. The fans ate up stories like that. But that was later. Right then, in the moment, he just knew he wanted to be the one who bought the ghost.
Jude started on, thinking he would head upstairs to see if Georgia was dressed yet. He had told her to put on her clothes half an hour ago but expected to find her still in bed. He had the sense she planned to stay there until she got the fight she was looking for. She’d be sitting in her underwear, carefully painting her toenails black. Or she’d have her laptop open, surfing Goth accessories, looking for the perfect stud to poke through her tongue, like she needed any more goddam…And then the thought of surfing the Web caused Jude to hold up, wondering something. He glanced back at Danny.
“How’d you come across that anyway?” he asked, nodding at the computer.
“We got an e-mail about it.”
“From who?”
“From the auction site.
They sent us an e-mail that said ‘We notice you’ve bought items like this before and thought you’d be interested.’”
“We’ve bought items like this before?”
“Occult items, I assume.”
“I’ve never bought anything off that site.”
“Maybe you did and just don’t remember. Maybe I bought something for you.”
Jude said, “Fuckin’ acid. I had a good memory once. I was in the chess club in junior high.”
“You were? That’s a hell of a thought.”
“What? The idea that I was in the chess club?”
“I guess. It seems so…geeky.”
“Yeah. But I used severed fingers for pieces.”
Danny laughed—a little too hard, convulsing himself and wiping imaginary tears from the corners of his eyes. The sycophantic little suck-ass.
2
The suit came early Saturday morning. Jude was up and outside with the dogs.
Angus lunged as soon as the UPS truck ground to a halt, and the leash was yanked out of Jude’s hand. Angus leaped against the side of the parked truck, spit flying, paws scuffling furiously against the driver’s-side door. The driver remained behind the wheel, peering down at him with the calm but intent expression of a doctor considering a new strain of Ebola through a microscope. Jude caught the leash and pulled on it, harder than he meant to. Angus sprawled on his side in the dirt, then twisted and sprang back up, snarling. By now Bon was in on the act, straining at the end of her leash, which Jude held in his other hand, and yapping with a shrillness that hurt his head.
Heart-Shaped Box by Joe Hill / Horror / Thrillers & Crime / Fantasy have rating
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